When you stopped loving me, I stopped eating

Is it stupid of me to check the mailbox, hoping you'll send something? I desperately want you to try and save our relationship. Do you care? Sometimes I sit in class or on the subway and cry because I miss you so much. There's so many things I don't understand. What do you mean that we both knew when you said "I love you" it didn't mean the same thing as when I did? How can you throw away everything we had after we went through so much together? Doesn't it mean anything to you that I flew to you twice to comfort you when you're dad died? Who else did that for you? I question everything now. I wonder if you meant one thing when you said another. How would things have been if you had left the country, something I didn't think that I wanted until now? Are you going to try? God, please tell me you're going to try and reach out to me. When will it stop hurting so damn much? WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH?! Why don't you love me anymore? You said you'd love me forever.